I am a firm believer in allowing my children to self settle. Some say “controlled crying” is cruel and others say it doesn’t work. I think not allowing our children to get enough sleep is even more cruel. ‘Save Our Sleep’ by Tizzie Hall not only saved our sleep but also saved our sanity!
I was beyond ecstatic when I was pregnant with my firstborn. Everybody said I had the GLOW. I read the book ‘What to expect when expecting’ and religiously followed my baby’s growth and progress on my many baby apps that I downloaded. I was relaxed and confident, ready to face whatever came my way!
I had a 14 hour labour but a completely natural drug free birth (a story for another day). And my husband and I were the happiest parents in the world!
I never could’ve imagined in a million years that I’d suffer from post natal depression. Something I did not completely understand before experiencing it firsthand.
I cried everyday while looking after this baby that also cried all the time. Breastfeeding was so hard for something that’s so natural. Every time she cried she would be passed back to me, like I was the miracle cure all. Feed her! She must be hungry! I felt Iike all I did was whip out the boob! I started doing everything I said I wouldn’t do, like sleeping on the breast, rocking, dummies, co-sleeping and using a rocker. Nothing seemed to work as she would only sleep 20 minutes or so at a time. Night time feeds were almost 2 or 3 hours apart and who knows how long it took to get her to sleep. Leaving me with just about an hour or less before next feed. Instead of sleeping, I’d lie awake dreading when I’d have to wake again. I’d have those feelings of resentment when I’d watch my husband sleeping soundly beside me.
I thought, who could I talk to? I would just sound like I’m an incapable hopeless mum who couldn’t get her crap together. I was given comments like; well welcome to parenting and get used to it! I thought to myself, this can’t be it, this isn’t something I or my family should get used to! All suffering from lack of sleep and chronic crankiness!
My naturopath then told me about this book and how it helped her and I was willing to give it a try. The book helped me understand the importance of routine and self settling. It wasn’t easy to follow at the start because it was hard to hear my baby cry. Probably because I had never allowed her to cry before. I had jumped at her every noise, trying to “shut her up” in any way possible. I was stunned by her improvement even from day 1. She slept 8 hours straight the first night at 2 months old. Then by 3 months old she slept 12 hours every night since. I kept consistent despite all the times she tested me again and again. My 2nd daughter had been taught to self settle from the start and has been a great sleeper. She sleeps 12 hours at night and has a 2 hour nap during the day. My two girls now share a room and both go to bed at 8pm. How good is that?!
I got my life back. Everybody sleeps well. I can organise outings knowing exactly how much time I have and when they sleep. My children thrived on routine because they felt safe and secure, knowing what is happening and what is expected of them. They no longer float with the wind without boundaries. I no longer feel trapped and chained to my kids. It empowered me. Bedtime is blissful as my husband and I have time to ourselves to do whatever we please.
So when anyone makes a comment on why or how we’re so strict about sleep, I ignore them. It gives me my sanity and my freedom! I’ve helped so many other friends with the sleep training too.
Sorry that it’s a long post, but it’s something that I’m passionate about. I love my sleep 😁
