Caring for Ourselves While Caring for Another

Caring for another can be really overwhelming. It can feel like you’re suddenly thrown into the deep end. Whether it’s a little person that has suddenly entered your life, or a family member who is ill, had an accident/injury or elderly etc.

This has happened to me recently. I have been MIA online for a couple of months. Having kids and a household to run seems more than enough, but sometimes life can give you curveballs. My dad, who is under 60 years old, is a hands-on kind of man. A caveman type personality who can build and fix almost anything, but cannot distinguish between home clothes and dress clothes. As you can guess, a manly man like my dad would not care in the slightest if he had any cuts, bruises or injuries as long as he is still functional. So a few months back, he accidentally scratched his hand while working with wood. He thought nothing of it, continued with his carpentry as well as gardening. He started complaining about a swelling on that hand but continued to sleep it off. On the fourth morning, he called me at 4am to tell me to call the ambulance for him as he could not get up due to the pain and swelling that spread all the way up his armpits. It was very very serious, as he would not call he ambulance if he wasn’t in terrible pain.

Long story short, he was admitted to hospital, stayed in the intensive care unit (ICU) as his arm was so infected that it was close to amputation. They figured he got infected with a flesh eating bacteria that has been eating through his hand, under his skin, all the way up to his elbow. Yes, you might think, this may have been prevented? Yes. Perhaps if he had put disinfectant on his scratch on his hand, or if he wore protective gloves whilst working with wood or gardening that this may not have developed. We don’t know what may or may not have happened but I know he would not have been careful or taken better care of himself until this happened. On Guard Protective Blend will now be included in his first aid kit.

Weeks of hospitalisation, fasting and operations, he did not have the strength to take care of himself. Flesh from his hand was cut off, two large incisions were made on two sides of the arm from the wrist to the elbow. Eventually, he got a very large rectangular skin graft from his thigh to place on his hand and wrist. You can imagine how sick he was, and also difficult for all our family members to see him that way.

I was determined that with my knowledge and experience with natural remedies, I can help speed up his recovery and help him feel a little bit more comfortable. I know of many people who tell me their family members are sick, I ask them what they think they can help with. They tell me, oh I can’t do anything because he or she is too stubborn or difficult or set in their own ways to allow me to help. I call BS on that, because regardless of how they feel, you should still try your best for your loved ones and be responsible when they need you most. Thankfully, my dad and I have a great relationship where he trusts me and values my opinion.

Everyday, whilst my mum looked after my kids, I cared for my dad morning to night. I helped him communicate with the doctors on his behalf as his English is limited, fed him, washed him, propped his pillows, rubbed oils on him, filled the diffuser, massaged him and kept him company. Doctors and nurses see A LOT of patients and cannot fulfil every patient’s needs. It’s important to make them aware of your involvement so they will more likely involve you in their decision-making. Ask them lots of questions, get an understanding of what is happening and why they want to give you those treatments. People are taught to blindly follow Doctors and trust them completely. I’m not saying I don’t trust them, but it’s good to communicate together so you can give input of your family member’s medical history. It’s just like getting to know your child’s school teacher so you can collaborate together.

Oils for the sick/injured:

DDR Prime Essential Oil Cellular Complex – This comes in liquid form or liquid capsules. This is THE oil for the ill, sick, injured. This oil blend works on a cellular level to help regenerate new cells, or get rid of unhealthy cells. As my dad was in and out of surgery a lot, he wasn’t able to take capsules so I rubbed the oil blend under his feet every few hours.
Copaiba Oil – This is a cannabinoid oil with anti-inflammatory, antiseptic properties. This oil has sooo many uses but to name a few, it’s great for swelling, infections, skin, nerves, digestion and brains! I rubbed this on my dad’s feet as well as his normal arm and a percentage of this will transfer to his injured arm. (U.S warehouse only).
Frankincense Oil– Is known as the king of oils and was one of the 3 gifts given to Jesus when he was born. Why? Because of it’s amazing ability to travel through the blood brain barrier, enhance cellular health, is highly anti-viral, anti-cancer and is great for the skin! So I definitely used this a lot on my dad.
Eucalyptus Oil– Helps clear sinuses and promotes easy breathing. My dad loves this oil as it smells so sweet and divine. Also, emotionally it is the oil of wellness. It helps you look past the feeling of sickness and look forward to being healthy.
Elevation – Is the joyful blend. For many people, like my dad, it was emotionally difficult and depressing for him to face the fact that he was unwell, sick, weak, helpless and need others to care for him. I often rubbed this on his chest to help him feel more uplifted.
Ice Blue/Deep Blue – This blend is great for pain and inflammation. He was often uncomfortable and restless from laying in bed all the time, so I rubbed Ice Blue on his neck and shoulders to help relax him and sooth his aches.
Peppermint Oil – We used this to refresh his mouth, for his headaches, drowsiness and when his stomach was doing weird things.

Oils to diffuse:

Elevation – Is the joyful blend. Diffusing this blend often in the hospital helped my dad feel more hopeful and motivated. It helps the carer and the caree feel more uplifted and positive.
Lemongrass – Clears negativity and airborne bacteria.
Lavender Peace/ Serenity – Is the calming restful blend. Diffuse at night for restful sleep as long as the nurses don’t wake you up!
Lemon Oil – Is uplifting and clears airborne pathogens.
On Guard – Protective blend supports your immune system so you can recover faster. Naturally antiviral and antibacterial.

Oils for wounds:

I have made a spray blend to use on my dad’s arm to help with his recovery on scars, skin issues, tendons, and nerves. His doctors were so amazed by how fast his wound recovered!

Rose – Rose is amaaaazzing! So good for scars, skin and infections. (U.S Warehouse only)
Helichrysum- Has powerful healing properties inside and out!
Lemongrass- Great for tendons and wounds.
Copaiba- Known for nerve and skin support.

Other oils for wounds: Tea tree, lavender, jasmine, basil, clove, cypress, myrrh & juniper berry. Floral oils also have healing properties and are great for the skin.

Extra items for the sick/injured:

Rose Lotion– Rose oil is known for it’s healing properties as well as nourishing for the skin. Those unwell tend to be dehydrated and feel dry. I used this lotion on my dad’s face each time I wash it. He was so thankful I remembered things like cream because he told me it made him feel really comfortable.
Herbal Lipbalm – Doterra’s lip balm is smooth and infused with essential oils. My dad’s lips were so dry and chapped it felt so nice having lip balm that’s good for you.

Oils for the carer:

Lemon Oil – I used this oil to disinfect my hands every few hours. I did not want to use the toxic hand sanitisers they use in the hospitals. Trust me, it’s reeaally bad for you. This oil is also very uplifting and helps when you’re feeling a bit down.
Balance – Is the grounding blend. Helps you gather your thoughts and focus, so you can get through all your tasks.
Lavender Peace/ Serenity – Is the calming restful blend. Is it quite common for a carer or family member to feel anxious and worried about their loved ones. It’s good to rub this on your tummy to calm the nerves and also to diffuse to calm the mind.
Console – Is the comforting blend. Helps you feel comforted, safe and that everything will be okay.

When caring for another, it’s often easy to drop everything and care for your loved ones and forget to take care of yourself. Taking time out to think and care for yourself is NOT selfish. Yes, you may not seem like priority compared to the sick or injured but if you’re drained, tired and unwell yourself, then who will look after them? Caring for yourself means caring for others. YOU are important too. Remember that you don’t need to do everything alone. Ask others for help. When others come to visit, then you should take a break, relax and eat something nice. If a family member is coming to visit, ask them to buy things you need, like groceries, food or other necessities (power bank?). My dad and I are so blessed to have a large loving family who visited often and offered to care for him for a few hours at a time. During that time, I spent it giving my kids as much attention as I could. I felt a lot of guilt as a mother of two. Although I cared for my dad, I felt like I abandoned my kids. Forgive Blend (roll-on) was one of my favourite oils to sooth my guilt, or in some cases anger haha. After the initial shock of the situation, my adrenaline faded and my strong supportive facade slipped, I went home after dark and cried. I cried and cried and cried some more. I realised how emotionally and physically drained I was. It finally crept up to me, so my emotions and tears overflowed, but I felt better afterwards. I rubbed my Lavender Peace, Console and Balance on and picked myself up. I’m not embarrassed to admit, that I wasn’t okay and it’s fine to feel that way. Though, I knew, every day would get even better and better! I would make sure of it.

This is a pretty raw story for me to share, but if it helps anyone out there in this situation or similar, I would be super happy! The positives of this situation is that my dad realised how much his family and friends love him. He still has his arm. My dad and I have never felt closer, spending so much time talking, laughing, reading, talking about the future and our health. He allows me to torture him by stretching his fingers, hands and wrist to be able to function they way it used to. We remain positive that it’s possible to have full mobility again. It’s important to talk about positive goals so that your loved one will be motivated to get better and to keep moving forward in life.