Blaming, jealousy, complaining, victimising, helplessness, inferiority, drudgery, discouragement, are all feelings for the powerless. Holding onto these feelings means you’re giving your power, your freedom of choice and control of your life away!
“This happened to me, and this, and that too!”, “my boss/partner/children treats me bad”, “I’m always unlucky”, “that person is more fortunate because he/she has this and that”, “it was her fault”, “she thinks she’s better than me”, “it’s because I’m not good enough”, “I can’t do what they can do”, “no one cares about me”, “everyone likes him/her more than me”, “it’s so unfair”…..
By deflecting the problem, “victims” feel justified that they had nothing to do with the bad things that happens to them. I’m not talking about criminal activities here, but I’m talking about things that we can change. They can feel justified that their unhappy life is out of their hands, so that people can pity them and feel sorry for them. That way, they can continue to point the finger, and hold onto drudgery and anger.
Blaming Others:
Blaming others is like saying that other people are responsible for the undesirable outcome in your life. It usually reflects a lack of perspective or limited understanding. It’s definitely a lack of self-reflection. Choosing to feel sorry for yourself and hoping other people will back you up.
Oils: Lavender Peace (Serenity- Calming Blend), Cardamon, Digestzen (Digestive Blend) & Forgive (Renewal Blend).
Complaining:
Complaining is another form of blaming and being negative. Complaining is all about venting, trying to gather an audience to your cause and hoping people will feel bad for you. Venters feel justified to “release” their anger and frustrations to another BUT, venters don’t really want a solution. They just want you to lend an ear so they can feel slightly better about themselves. Venters will get really defensive and say they’ve already exhausted all options. They say it’s healthy to vent, but personally, I don’t agree. Venting just brings the problem up, makes you more upset, or angry, more grudge and most likely your listener will add a bit more fuel to the fire. Making this dark pit even darker and fester some real illnesses in your body and mind.
Oils: Lemongrass, Purify (Cleansing Blend), Litsea, Sallubelle (Immortelle- Anti aging Blend), Wintergreen & Clary Sage
Jealousy:
Jealousy is being resentful and envious of someones success, achievements, looks, size or whatever advantages you may think they have. Having suspicious fears of rivalry or unfaithfulness. Results from a fear of not being loved and/or insecurity. Jealousy can make people really touchy and sensitive towards others.
Oils: Cinnamon, Myrrh, Roman Chamomile, Rose & Thyme.
Taking control of your life:
We are able to be in control of our lives. Things will shift in your life when you’re more positive and open to receiving opportunities. When we are blaming, complaining and being negative, we will only see darkness and attract more “bad luck” into our lives. Things can happen to us, but it’s important how we CHOOSE to react, because we are in control of OURSELVES. When placing the blame on others, we are saying we have no power.
I used to get really upset whenever I was driving. “That idiot was speeding and driving so dangerously”. “That person was so rude and cut me off”. “This person in front of me was driving so slow that I was late”. “I was so mad when someone would honk at me or give me the finger if I didn’t let them in”. Think about it, no one forced me to get upset or angry. If I wanted to be punctual, then I should leave earlier to ensure that I would be on time. If someone gave me the finger, why should I feel upset for their immature behaviour? Why does it matter to me how others drive? It really doesn’t matter. There are millions of drivers out there, all driving with different skill levels and we all need to share the road. Why should you feel surprised if someone doesn’t drive the way you do? I had an aggressive driver swear at me and honk at me recently, because I pushed in to merge into the heavy traffic. I noticed that he was yelling at me, and then turned away. What surprised me was that, I didn’t feel a thing! Ha! I actually felt sorry for him embarrassing himself, like a child throwing a tantrum.
Complaining about something or someone will actually make that negative thing grow. For example, constantly complaining about your health will make your health worse, because you’re giving it power. You give it power because BELIEF—>THOUGHTS—>FEELINGS—>ACTION—>RESULTS. If you believe you’re always sick, then you will manifest it, and then you will be. That why it’s so important that you have positive words, because words are powerful. If you stopped complaining about anything at all, you will see a sudden shift in your life and will be able to feel more gratitude and happiness in your life. If you’re not happy with what you have, then fix it, or leave.
Jealousy can lead to hate, and hate is a nasty illness. Jealousy tends to mean that you want what the other person has, but you will never get it because your subconscious feels negativity for those things. i.e You constantly diss your bosses and upline because they treat you so unfairly or they’re suck ups, or that they’re lazy and don’t do any work. If you feel negatively about your bosses, then you will subconsciously self-sabotage so that you will never get that promotion to be a boss like you wanted. Instead of feeling jealousy to someone else, you feel admiration instead. Admire them for all the traits you want to have, learn from them and so you can reach that goal too.
Empowering Blend:
I was inspired to make this blend for my daughter who tends to get upset because she felt powerless, unworthy, a victim, discouraged and jealous of her little sister and our affection for her. She would blame everything and everyone for not treating her fairly. We’ve discussed this many times and addressed her behaviour in regards to this, but it’s difficult for a 5 year old to comprehend her own strength and power. So, diffusing these oils and consistently using this blend will help her release these negative feelings and feel more empowered.
In a 10ml Roll-on Bottle:
- 3 Drop of Cardamom– This is the oil of objectivity. Great for the hotheaded. It helps you step outside of yourself to look within, to stop blaming others and take personal ownership and responsibility for their feelings.
- 3 Drops of Roman Chamomile– The oil of spiritual purpose. It supports individuals in discovering their life’s true purpose and meaning in life. It softens the personality and reduces feelings of discouragement, drudgery and frustration.
- 8 Drops of Lavender Peace/Serenity Calming Blend- The oil of forgiveness. It helps calm feelings of hostility, fear, anger, jealousy, rage and resentment. It can help support individuals who struggle to forgive others for their hurtful doings and behaviours. It encourages you to look at yourself first before feeling like blaming others.
- 3 Drops of Litsea- The oil of manifestation. It teaches you to learn to trust the inner voice and rise above fear of rejection, being misunderstood, or the need for external confirmation. It helps reduce feelings of self-criticism, self-doubt, stifled, blocked and limited.
- 3 Drops of Hinoki– This is an equaliser oil. It helps you feel equal to everyone, to bring those feeling low and less than, up to the centre and bring down those who feel too superior to others.
- 2 Drops of Ginger- The oil of empowerment. It addresses deep patterns of victim mentality which is evidenced by feelings of powerlessness, believing everything is out of their control, refusing to take responsibility for life, or blaming life circumstance on other people or outside influences.
Fill the rest with fractionated coconut oil. Can multiply ratio 2 or 3 times for adults. Apply onto the forehead, the heart and back of neck every 2-3 hours for as long as needed.
I used a red roller bottle because red is the colour of power. Using red and wearing red can help free yourself from pain and empower yourself.
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