Most people don’t even realise that they’re actually talking to themselves throughout the day, whether it’s voiced or internal. Self-Talk is that little commentary voice that tells you what you think of yourself as soon as you open your eyes every morning. You can be going about your day, being nasty to yourself without even knowing the devastating effects it can have on you long-term.
What’s Your Self-Talk like?
For me, it used to go a little like this……
As soon as I wake up in the morning I say internally to myself “man I’m so tired I must be getting old and lazy”. I roll out of bed and then think “gosh I’m such an idiot for not going to bed earlier”. Then I walk to the bathroom and do my business, wash and dry my hands then turn and look in the mirror. Here, is when I get really nasty! I think to myself “You look so ugly without makeup, disgusting really, especially because your eyebrows are like non-existant. The dark circles under your eyes make you look sick. Your freckles look like age spots, maybe you are getting really old. Is that a dot on your forehead? Yep. It looks like a zit. Gross! OMG and look at your belly! It’s so flabby and disgusting. Your should really start exercising”. Then I proceed to putting my makeup on while continuing this kind of internal dialogue.
I go get dressed while telling myself how bad I look in certain clothes and again, body shaming myself for the millionth time before noon. Already self-sabotaging so bad, there’s no way in hell I could think any differently of myself. With this kind of Self-Talk, my self-worth and self-love has gone down the drain, never to be found. I continue my day the same way, being nasty to myself if I was running late, or telling myself how much I suck because I didn’t do something as well as I expected of myself, that I’m a loser for not being a top chef like my mother 🍳, or not as skinny as the super models 💁, or not as successful as other business women 💼, or not a super mum as some made-up mums in my head! 😅
As you can see, this kind of self-talk was not even intentional! I didn’t even realise I was doing it! It kind of just became a habit I wasn’t even aware of!
Now, can you self reflect and see what your self-talk is like?? Is it full of nasties and do you swear at yourself? Is it full of self-hate, loathing, belittling, full of low self-worth, unappealing and angry comments? I want you to remember what you have been doing to yourself and how long you have been doing this for. THIS is a type of ABUSE. SELF-ABUSE to be clear. Somewhere along the way, we learnt that talking positively about ourselves is conceited and rude. Then we somehow twisted it and thought that we’re horrible people if we have positive self-talk. Boasting, showing off, comparing and blowing smoke up people’s ass is definitely rude. But, being kind to yourself is not! If we look for the negatives, that, is all we see. When you start changing your habits, you will notice a shift, and see all the beauty from within.
Why Negative Self-Talk is Harmful..
BELIEF>THOUGHTS>FEELINGS>ACTION>RESULTS
Your beliefs, turns things into reality. Thoughts are made up of energy, energy is a vibration, and vibrations have power. Your beliefs can manifest what you truly believe into reality. That nasty energy you feed yourself daily, can turn into ailments, illnesses and diseases. Your emotions are more powerful than you can imagine. I truly believe that our emotions and vibrations causes our illnesses. Vibrations sounds a bit out there, but if you think of it scientifically, everything has a vibration. Electrons, neutrons and protons are matter, and they all vibrate at different speeds depending on their forms, liquid, solid or gas. Everything is made up of matter and so everything has a vibration. Positive, healthy people and essential oils, vibrate at a higher frequency. Sick and negative people vibrate at a lower frequency.
The famous book The Hidden Messages in Water by Dr Masaru Emoto, was about a water experiment. It consisted of exposing two lots of water, to certain feelings and words, one positive and one negative. One was subject to loving words and feelings, while the other was subject to hateful words and feelings. They are labeled and placed into the freezer. Once frozen, the water turns into ice crystals. The water that was subjected to words of love shows beautiful, bright, symmetrical ice crystals, whereas the hate water was jagged, distorted and asymmetrical. We, are made up of around 70% water so it would make sense how our negativity or positivity will impact us.
Not just the water experiment, but there has been numerous studies on this type of energy. Like how two plants are affected by thoughts and words. One thriving and growing, while the other dying and wilting.
In terms of our health, our body and mind is linked. It’s like how stress can cause headaches, fear can make us pee our pants, nervousness can give us a tummy ache, burdened can make our shoulders heavy, anger can cause kidney issues etc..
Changing Your Self-Talk
It sounds simple and easy enough. But I will tell you, this takes TIME. After a long and nasty habit, you have to be patient with yourself.
- BELIEVE YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE: Firstly, you need to believe you are in control of yourself and your thoughts. Nothing will change if you can’t believe in yourself.
- SPEAK, THINK, BELIEVE, POSITIVELY ONLY: This will be hard at first as it can feel a little awkward. Though don’t stop as being positive towards yourself will come naturally as you practice.
- CANCEL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: Do not under any circumstance, tell your negative talk to SHUTUP! 😂 You can say, thanks for sharing, everything will be okay. Or Cancel cancel that thought!
- PRAISE YOURSELF FOR YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Praise yourself for everything that you do and all your accomplishments! If you can’t be grateful to yourself for all that you do, then you will never be able to receive gratitude from others.
- PRACTICE DAILY GRATITUDE: Consistently remind yourself everything you are grateful for in your life. You can only be truly happy when you are grateful for what you have. There are always people who have less than you!
- MEDITATE OR HAVE QUIET TIME: When we think too much, it can be stressful and will be unable to think clearly. Sometimes it’s nice to give yourself regular breaks!
If you have any trouble or would like to discuss your progress, you can comment below or contact me privately. Good luck to you all my friends!!
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